Worried about another friend

Hi everyone,

I had a long telephone conversation with my friend (my "big sister") last night, as she lives on the other side of the country and I see her too little.

She had a history of drug-use since she met her husband (as he was also a drug-user), but luckily both of them stopped it together. However, what I to this day don't understand is that she smokes (cigarettes) since she ended the drug-use, which she didn't do prior to her drug-use.

I also knew since I met her is that she suffers from binge-eating-disorder, migraines, sleep problems, and high-blood-pressure. She also has borderline, but has that under control. She is vegan since 2009 or 2010.

What shocked me tremendously was that she's not only doing badly with bingeing, but (even though she hates herself for doing it and doesn't want to do it) she eats dairy products such as cheese and ice cream. :( She was afraid I would hate her when she told me that. Though I reassured her that is not the case, but did say that it's not good at all what she does, but at the same time told her I'm there for her.

She really wants to lose weight and (as far as I know) still has the unhealthy wish that she were anorexic. Having formerly suffered from anorexia myself that breaks my heart to hear that from her. :(

Regardless, I told her more about my lifestyle (she already knew that I followed it without much further details). I gave her Olivia's link as well (as it is in German). She said she'll look at it and think about it, although she was skeptic and meant regardless of how much fruit and vegetables she'll eat, she could never be full. I know that phrase too well and know (without having to ask) that she's never tried eating large quantities (so I kept it to myself). She also finds it unimagineable not to eat bread & co.

What she needs is optimal health - 80/10/10. I really want to help her, but I think I'm doing the best that I can do at the moment - correct me if I'm wrong. The rest, she must take in her own hands.

Have any of you had similar situations with any friends/acquaintances?

I am grateful for any feedback and/or tips.

Many thanks in advance.

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  • I had a huge binge eating disorder a while ago. I'll still admit to binging here and there...  not on animal products, on fruits now, but even so, always been a binger.  As far as drugs go, my brother was a huge druggie, did all he could. I don't know where he is now a days, so I couldn't tell you how that turned out, he just left. I'm sure he's still doing them.  I did a few, on my old post blog I wrote about it.  It wasn't anything huge though.  Mostly weed, but I didn't need it to finally find "peace" anymore after starting the diet.  I have to say 80/10/10 helped me hugely with my emotions.

    Maybe she should just keep the animals products out of the house.  Though, if living like someone (her husband isn't vegan, too, is he?) maybe  lock on the door to the cabinet with animal products and such on them?   Even just being there for her, to call when she has a craving or just talk to, can help some.

    If she wants to quit smoking, I remember hearing ginseng root tea can help.  I believe it helps heal the body quicker. 
    http://www.herbcompanion.com/health/herbs-that-help-smokers-quit-th...

    • Thank you so much for your input, Ayllx Kalen. :)

      Yeah, her husband's not vegan, but he's always been 100 % supportive of her choice and agrees that the practises that are done to animals is wrong. Yeah, that's an obvious solution not to buy them. Though I don't know if she buys them herself or if her husband bought them (for himself).

      I find that a great idea for her to call me when the evil demons start taking over her mind. However the problem is is that I either work or am at vocational school until late afternoon in the week.

      She's never exactly expressed the desire to stop smoking, although I know she knows it's wrong. I will bring that up as well by opportunity.

      By the way, as long as the fruits are fresh with nothing extra, you can't binge on them. That's great when you eat lots of them. :)

      Many thanks again for your feedback. Would it be okay if I kept in touch with you, as I could surely learn from you? You seem to understand some of what my friend is going through.

      • Hmm, well, maybe you two can figure something out during the day.  Is it a possible to text during your job at all? My mother works for 911(taking calls and finger prints all day) and we tend to have little contact through such.  :)

        I'll always be here if you need anything!

        • Thanks Ayllx. :)

          It depends on which location I'm working at. The most are pretty relaxed though. I'll talk with her and see what I can do.

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