I am not sure if I am suppose to be posting this but I need advise and I can't post this where be would see it. He doesn't like that I am a raw vegan and he brings home animal products and orders me to eat them the last time he did this I threw up. He also doesn't like that I want to go into nutrition after high school. I am totally dependent on him at the moment because I am without a job however I am looking and there is a possibility I could work at mom's organic next week. However all of the money would be going directly to him. I'm just not sure how to move forward with out becoming homeless. If anyone has any ideas please let me know.
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Being in a d/s relationship doesn't equate to your Dom being able to force you to do things you despise. In the same way you use safety words during sex, you need to be able to set boundaries around your personal ethics and life. Just because you want to be dominated, it doesn't mean you have to give up boundaries. If you are feeling as if you can't have boundaries (or your Dom is refusing to acknowledge the boundaries you are requesting), it isn't a healthy relationship, it is abuse. Please seek out resources in the community to help you navigate this. I know from experience that if you allow someone to break your boundaries, your mind will eventually break -- it isn't healthy. A Dom/sub relationship can be healthy but his doesn't sound at all healthy.
you're still in high school and have A Dom already! He obviously can't care much about you if he makes you eat food that he knows makes you sick. that's not being a Dom, that's abuse.
You need to find a new Dom, you have the power to make that decision. Look on the collarme website. That's not a safe relationship to be in, there still needs to be respect regardless of whether or not it's an s/m relationship.
This. So this. Your dom should be interest in what is best for you, and if you show him why this way of eating is best for your health he should be completely on board. Yes you should respect him, but he also should have respect for you. I have been in these kinds of relationships in the past, and the way you speak about the one you're in leads me to believe it's unhealthy...just be careful love!
Hi Brittany! You didn't specify who is "him", I assume he is your father or step-father (or mother's boyfriend or whatnot) since you are in high school. I can somewhat relate. I was still a child, 10 or so when I first made a statement about eating animals being wrong - now imagine that in Eastern-Europe where it's all about meat, we eat lard for crying out loud on sandwiches! Obviously my intention never materialized back then. I was 20 when I went vegetarian (which is not even close to vegan or raw vegan!). I was still living with my parents and they were against it. At the time we were living in the US and with my visa I wasn't allowed to work. I ended up getting under the table jobs to pay for my food, started cooking myself (-> yes, cooking, I was a cooked food vegetarian) and my parents though didn't support my idea (neither my under the table jobs) they ended up being okay with it, saying that 'if you are stupid, do it, just don't make me participate'. Soon after I moved out to the dorms. ... You are in a tough situation. Being forced to eat meat is harsh. You always have a choice not to eat it, you are in control what to put into your body. (And I hope you are not being abused if not eating it!!!) Pick the veggies, potatos, bread, whatever else available... Untimely if you are under 18 and living with your parents it is tough. I would suggest that you need to get a job and pay for your own food. Working at a co-op/food store/health store/juice bar/smoothie bar/etc could be the best cuz you may be able to score some goodies. But ultimately anything that pays could be ok. Your parents may be ok with it once they see you are buying and prepping your own food, not trying to change them, bully them into changing their lives but responsibly living your own. ... In the meantime, please do NOT throw up your food, that causes more damage to your body than eating non-raw vegan and you don't want to end up developing an eating disorder!!!! Trust me, don't even go there! As for school goes, once you graduate HS, over 18, it is YOUR decision what you study - especially IF you pay for your school & related expenses (and possibly if you also move out from your parents). If they pay for your school though it is different - though they still shouldn't decide for you, but they have the power because of the money. Unsure if this helps, but I would get a job and just do my best until then.
The he in question is my dom, we have a s/m relationship. I am doing online high school although I am 21, but he basically controls everything including the money i make and how much i can spend he leaves me about fourty dollars but I can't spend any of it unless he says I can. I threw up the last time because the meat he gave me was bloody. I had just looked at it and it turned my stomach. He doesn't get abusive just very upset...
I don't know how to explain to him that I am doing this to improve my health and when I was living separately from him for about a month my health improved a lot. And then when I moved back in with him he had me eating the way he wanted me to and I started getting sick and he is thinking that it's because I "went on a crazy diet". I'm sorry, I should have included this information in my original post.
Gwendalynn > Brittany JohnsonApril 26, 2013 at 7:53am
Send him links to the articles you're reading. Get him involved in this lifestyle, but if he's anything like mine, he'll need to read it from a credible source, not just hear it.
Send him links to why meat is unhealthy. Why dairy makes you feel awful, etc.
Show him videos of Freelea on Youtube talking about something relevant to the diet with her half-length shirt on. She's sexy as fuck, and he'll likely support this lifestyle you've chosen if he can see measurable results. Her transformation video comes to mind.
You don't need to leave your dom, but you do need to find effective ways to plead your cases. The above two methods have brought my guy around, eager and wanting.
Okay, I understand it now. From this perspective, I have to agree with dandelion. It doesn't sound like based on the nature of your relationship that you will ever be able to make your own choices. You can try reasoning but it doesn't seem like you can convience him. You can accept it and not eat raw. You can leave the relationship and a) be single, b) find a non-s/m relationship or c) find an s/m relationship where the other person has similar values or at least is okay with your food and education choices.
Replies
Seriously consider Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Women only meetings.
Being in a d/s relationship doesn't equate to your Dom being able to force you to do things you despise. In the same way you use safety words during sex, you need to be able to set boundaries around your personal ethics and life. Just because you want to be dominated, it doesn't mean you have to give up boundaries. If you are feeling as if you can't have boundaries (or your Dom is refusing to acknowledge the boundaries you are requesting), it isn't a healthy relationship, it is abuse. Please seek out resources in the community to help you navigate this. I know from experience that if you allow someone to break your boundaries, your mind will eventually break -- it isn't healthy. A Dom/sub relationship can be healthy but his doesn't sound at all healthy.
This. So this. Your dom should be interest in what is best for you, and if you show him why this way of eating is best for your health he should be completely on board. Yes you should respect him, but he also should have respect for you. I have been in these kinds of relationships in the past, and the way you speak about the one you're in leads me to believe it's unhealthy...just be careful love!
Hi Brittany! You didn't specify who is "him", I assume he is your father or step-father (or mother's boyfriend or whatnot) since you are in high school. I can somewhat relate. I was still a child, 10 or so when I first made a statement about eating animals being wrong - now imagine that in Eastern-Europe where it's all about meat, we eat lard for crying out loud on sandwiches! Obviously my intention never materialized back then. I was 20 when I went vegetarian (which is not even close to vegan or raw vegan!). I was still living with my parents and they were against it. At the time we were living in the US and with my visa I wasn't allowed to work. I ended up getting under the table jobs to pay for my food, started cooking myself (-> yes, cooking, I was a cooked food vegetarian) and my parents though didn't support my idea (neither my under the table jobs) they ended up being okay with it, saying that 'if you are stupid, do it, just don't make me participate'. Soon after I moved out to the dorms. ... You are in a tough situation. Being forced to eat meat is harsh. You always have a choice not to eat it, you are in control what to put into your body. (And I hope you are not being abused if not eating it!!!) Pick the veggies, potatos, bread, whatever else available... Untimely if you are under 18 and living with your parents it is tough. I would suggest that you need to get a job and pay for your own food. Working at a co-op/food store/health store/juice bar/smoothie bar/etc could be the best cuz you may be able to score some goodies. But ultimately anything that pays could be ok. Your parents may be ok with it once they see you are buying and prepping your own food, not trying to change them, bully them into changing their lives but responsibly living your own. ... In the meantime, please do NOT throw up your food, that causes more damage to your body than eating non-raw vegan and you don't want to end up developing an eating disorder!!!! Trust me, don't even go there! As for school goes, once you graduate HS, over 18, it is YOUR decision what you study - especially IF you pay for your school & related expenses (and possibly if you also move out from your parents). If they pay for your school though it is different - though they still shouldn't decide for you, but they have the power because of the money. Unsure if this helps, but I would get a job and just do my best until then.
I don't know how to explain to him that I am doing this to improve my health and when I was living separately from him for about a month my health improved a lot. And then when I moved back in with him he had me eating the way he wanted me to and I started getting sick and he is thinking that it's because I "went on a crazy diet". I'm sorry, I should have included this information in my original post.
Send him links to the articles you're reading. Get him involved in this lifestyle, but if he's anything like mine, he'll need to read it from a credible source, not just hear it.
Send him links to why meat is unhealthy. Why dairy makes you feel awful, etc.
Show him videos of Freelea on Youtube talking about something relevant to the diet with her half-length shirt on. She's sexy as fuck, and he'll likely support this lifestyle you've chosen if he can see measurable results. Her transformation video comes to mind.
You don't need to leave your dom, but you do need to find effective ways to plead your cases. The above two methods have brought my guy around, eager and wanting.
Okay, I understand it now. From this perspective, I have to agree with dandelion. It doesn't sound like based on the nature of your relationship that you will ever be able to make your own choices. You can try reasoning but it doesn't seem like you can convience him. You can accept it and not eat raw. You can leave the relationship and a) be single, b) find a non-s/m relationship or c) find an s/m relationship where the other person has similar values or at least is okay with your food and education choices.
That said, I have no personal experience being in an s/m relationship...
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