In our circles, I am the last hold-out for not allowing video games. My kids have done a few here and there with friends by my 10-year-old is really pushing for minecraft, all his friends have it and wi's and ipods. We don't have TV but they netflix/stream stuff a few times a week and he does robotics and bridge building and stuff like that on the computer. He recently got an mp3 so he can have his music. While downloading songs some porn images came up. That was a discussion I wish I never had to have but I'm glad we were together. They've also done some learning games that all seem to eventually turn into the same mindlessness. His brother and sister who just turned 8 want to follow in his footsteps in whatever the older does.
I worry about too much screen time and the way it affects my kids after (they get edgy and whacky after just watching a tv program) because they are not used to a lot of screen time. I feel like as soon as I open the can of worms of video games there will be no turning back. Everywhere we go (like gymnastics, hockey, library, the grocery store) kids are being supervised by electronic devices. I worry about that. I really worry about unlimited access to the internet. And it's just plain hard being the meanest Mom when it comes to video games. Parenting is hard (and unschooling is hard) and sometimes I wonder, what would it be like to have all three kids happily on their own ipods? Peace?
Anyone else share these concerns?
Think I'm being too strict?
What's your family policy?
Replies
Hi Mary,
I know its been a long time since you posted this but I just remembered a really wonderful parenting book it seems you may like, it's one of my favorites: Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.
take care,
Aaryn
Hi Aaryn,
thank you for your recommendation. :) I've just purchased the book.
Best wishes,
Julia
Hey thanks, Aaryn, and it is never too late to learn new parenting strategies.
While I'm in here I'll update a a little
Right now my kids have 1/2 hour on each weekend to do video games, but they also watch each other so each kids has 90 minutes. This was the latest compromise. It leaves 6 days of the week with no video games at all.
I've found some other cool stuff for them to do on the computer. One is a music writing software, that was free, they all love, you can use any instruments/combos, voices and make any music you want and play it back, print it. they are really into this right now. They also can program nxt robots and log data on them as well. So it's not like I'm depriving them of technology.
sounds good to me. :) what is the music writing software?
It's called MuseScore.
Hey Mary, I'm new to the group and debated about responding... but here it goes:) I am a Mom of a nine year old boy who LOVES his video games! We started out on the waldorf path with extreme limits on all screen time and would usually only watch what I deemed educational when we did indulge. We decided to homeschool and kept with this theme as we migrated to unschooling and then I met a mama who was radically unschooling and changed my views radically:) The main philosophy I would say is - if we connect fully with are children and allow them to explore all their interests fully they are in the power to decide for themselves what they want to learn about and when, even if it's from those darn video games;) and that power allows them to truly be their authentic selves without fear of judgment.
I know lots of reasons to go against this theory and I question it myself! but I made the decision to let him be who he wants to be even if I would never would have thought in a million years we would have an xbox in our home!
So... he always has the freedom, even if he wants to eat junk food at a party. Although I educate him fully on this subject, I believe in making informed decisions! ... like I've embraced the 80-10-10 lifestyle, I fully support his freedom for him to be himself. Now yes I will ask him to turn off the tv for the sake of my sanity:) and he will stop on his own to participate in other activities and play with friends etc... I'm confident that he is meant to do what he is doing and just learned to let go and have faith. and most of the time it is really beautiful to feel so connected (even if it's while I attempt to play some "awful" video game).
That's my 2 cents, but like I said I totally understand the other side and would have loved to bring him up Little House On the Prairie style:) just not meant to be...
peace to you and your family
I totally understand where you are coming from and believe in so much of what you say. In many ways I consider myself a radical unschooler but not when it comes to media. Just like I wouldn't have loads of junk food laying around my house (which is not good for them) for my kids to choose, I don't offer unlimited video games because it is clearly not good for them, I gather this by they way act after video games.
I certainly don't want to bring up my kids Little House on the Prairie Style either. I just read the first Little House to my daughter and we were both shocked - the whole first couple chapters is devoted to killing, skinning, drying, smoking etc etc animals for the long winter.
I applaud your trust in your child in making the video game decision, I am KEENLY interested in how much time per day he plays video games and whether you restrict at all the types of games he plays.
I am literally the last hold out in our circles of homeschooled families, as far as restricting video games, and because of sports our circle has widened to mainstream families as well. I don't want my kids to feel like freaks, I want them to be healthy and make their own decisions, this is a very hard thing with what is 'out there'.
And there are many 2-year-olds that I see everywhere playing video games - how good can this be? They are not making this decision, they are being ignored.
lol Mary, we too tried that book because of all the rave reviews from fellow home's coolers. I thought I could breeze over the corpse eating but it seemed to go on and on and be a major part of life on the prairie, I think 2 chapters and we stopped too. I have to say I looked a little side ways at the folks who raved about this book next time I saw them, lol.
Yeah, the book wasn't anything like the TV show I watched as a kid! With strong but gentle pa and sweet smart Ma and their super cute smart kids playing in the prairie. I'm pretty sure they weren't skinning animals. But's that's exactly my point in this thread - TV/Video games, even online chat, video are all an alternative reality. It just seems like there's so much more out there than looking at a screen. Yes, I know some of it is educational and helpful but so much of it is not.
This Little League season has been enlightening and encouraging for me, both my sons made all stars and played for other coaches, with different umps and many other kids and my husband and I heard nothing but what good kids they were, smart, healthy etc. I was repeatedly complimented and that makes me feel like, phew I haven't screwed them up too bad yet! :)
I know radical unschoolers would disagree about this one but I feel like if I let my kids watch all the tv and play all the video games they wanted, their health - physical and emotional - would be suffering.
-
1
-
2
-
3
of 3 Next